I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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