Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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