I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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