I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
