so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
