I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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