problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
