I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just want to make out with him forever
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
