I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
