She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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