Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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