You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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