i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
