that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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