I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize