do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
