well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
