I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
