just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
