some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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