This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
