what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
