Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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