he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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