i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
They have beer where we have blood.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
