I think im going to throw up on grandma
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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