drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
