I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
