it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
