is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
