Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It's never too late to be topless.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
