I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
