I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
