You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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