its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
