I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
