i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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