new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
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