You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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