To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
