Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
