thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
