better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
