Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
