i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
