I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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