I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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