the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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