You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
