my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
