but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
