So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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